VII of Swords


 I started out picking this card because I felt like my mom always ran away from everything, you just couldn’t tell after a while because she stopped moving. Then while I was painting it, I thought about some of the other times she had to run like hell. 
Once, hitchhiking down the 101 on the Oregon coast, she got a ride after dark with a truck. She knew immediately she made a mistake. Somehow, she got hi to stop the truck, and she took off running like hell into the woods. She was barefoot. She said she was scared, she stayed as still and quiet as she could, long after the truck drove away. 
I thought about running away- and Swords as the symbol of intellect. She’s taking all she can, but some gets left behind. 

Personal Tarot it is. I like to take the worst first, get it over with. I was scared of the Fool, so that’s where I started. Then, the infamous V of Cups, then I’m triggered, honestly, listening to a audiobook talking about the VII of Swords, so I left Strength aside and dove in. The V and the VII have something in common. 

In each, there is a sense of loss and grief, but also on each there are two left behind. She’s spilled three glasses of wine, but that’s are two left. She grabbed five swords and is running like hell, but two get left behind. 

The VII is a card of desperation, of getting the hell out. Where’s the fire, except you are the fire- armed with the thoughts you can hold, fleeing the ones you can’t handle. Maybe you’ll come back for them. Maybe. 
The original card has him in red shoes and a red hat but my mom wouldn’t be caught dead in either. She thought hats made her head look too big, and I never got the totally true and complete story on the red shoes- I head many versions, but the result was her loathing red shoes.

I gave her red lipstick and red toes instead. She would have liked those and the green skirt, and if not for the fear and the sorrow of leaving ideas/swords behind and whatever she was running from, she would have liked getting out of town. 

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